Odyssey of an American College Student

 Headphones pressed to my already aching ears, I begin another day. I flip open my laptop, taking a moment to proudly review my stock of creative stickers. There, all alone on the grey expanse of the top of my HP, is my favorite. It's a simple sticker that reads "Hope." Hope. That's me. All the time, every day, twenty-four seven. Actually, though, the sticker means late nights and confusion and wondering why on earth I chose to be a college student. 

I see my brother with his amazing job, and all my friends living moderately successful adult lives. And then there's me in college. That weird animal who loved school enough not to want to grow out of it. Seriously, I'm an education major. If that's not a love affair with school, I don't know what is.

Kicking off my shoes, I flip myself onto my bed. I've only vacated it an hour before, but now I'm back. Well, back to work. I fold up my blue-jeaned legs into a desk for my laptop, or alternately flop myself onto my stomach, sticking my head into my laptop like a horizontal ostrich. Then it's into the world of twenty discussion posts at least before next Monday and how I'm going to master the rest of this 300 page book before tomorrow.

I chose this, and I live it proudly. I live it well. I have purposed to see this thing through, and I shall. I shall. I shall. At least I'm hoping I shall. Insecurity meets me in every alley of my mind, and the only way I can stave it off is to get to work. That's probably an illusion, but I'm too busy to think through it. I put Twenty-One Pilots' Vessel on my Spotify and charge off to Tyler Joseph screaming "I am not as fine as I seem!" I've memorized every song on that album during late night study sessions. Too bad I can't rap to save my life. I could be a karaoke star.  Fact: I wouldn't even consider myself a fan of Twenty-One Pilots.

It's a crazy life. It's a messy life. I can't tell you how many times I've nearly lost my faith, my sanity, and my glasses in the past two years. Nearly lost them for good, too. Yet I've somehow found beauty, too. Hope still courses in my soul and in stickers on my laptop. I still say "God is good," and mean it. I still love education. I actually daydream about having a classroom full of grumpy and messed-up teenagers. I dream of discussing books with awakening minds. I'm glad I chose college. It's a tough road, and it takes prayer and hope and faith, but it also brings blessings. It's bringing me my dream.